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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433016">lovestruck, watching over you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberricream/pseuds/strawberricream'>strawberricream</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lovestruck, watching over each other [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Growing Up, Mutual Pining, Teasing, Time Skips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:08:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberricream/pseuds/strawberricream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>in your second year of high school, you catch atsumu’s eye. he tries to get to know you when he realizes that it didn’t take much work to open you up. in your third year together in the same class, he realizes that the hard work came from elsewhere.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lovestruck, watching over each other [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>276</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the cultural festival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>osamu thought it was karma for eating his pudding cup that had his name on it from the fridge. atsumu had gotten away with a lot taking things from osamu, so osamu simply laughs internally at his twin’s dilemma.</p><p>it’s midway through the school year and summer’s just ended. the homeroom teacher of class 3-2 decided to switch up the seating plan to “freshen things up.” atsumu thought it was a dumb idea until you were placed to his right, the wall to his left. it was still kinda dumb because osamu sat behind you, meaning that he had a perfect viewpoint of atsumu’s current dilemma.</p><p>atsumu had a sorta crush on you. it wasn’t huge per say, didn’t stop him from doing his thing, but it existed and so did you, right next to him.</p><p><i>this sucks</i>, you think. the hot miya twins were surrounding you (hooray), but that also meant you’d get pestered by their groupies. they are really good looking, no one denies that (including you). and you have to admit that you wouldn’t know how to act if you looked like that, but you had long come to terms with your plain-looking appearance. you wouldn’t turn heads or anything, but under the right lighting and makeup, you’d be considered cute; nothing out of the ordinary really. you don’t say anything though. whatever. if anyone had a problem, it wasn’t your responsibility. and you guess it wasn’t that bad, they seemed nice enough.</p><p>atsumu spares a couple of glances over your way. you look irked. his heart drops. did you not like him? did he do something to offend you?</p><p>osamu can read atsumu like a book. you’ve barely interacted with the atsumu, having been in the college prep classes in year one (he wonders why you left) and in class with him for year two, so you hating either of them was unlikely. maybe it was the association? you seemed to prefer a more quiet lifestyle. osamu smirks. this could be fun.</p><p>“so i hope everyone had a fulfilling summer vacation. today, we will begin homeroom with your class representatives discussing your exhibit for this year’s school festival. while the cultural festival will be in november and we have the athletics festival prior to that, it would be a good idea to get a head start. nishimura-san, kanagaoka-san, please make your way to the front.”</p><p>ah yes, the school festival. how could atsumu forget. it’s where he started noticing you after all. last year, atsumu was in class 2-1 and you and osamu in 2-2. class 2-2 ran a maid and butler cafe. it was fine, you looked cute, osamu looked hot, yada yada. the issues only began when atsumu joined in dressed as a butler. lots of the girls and even girls from <i>other schools</i> came to your classroom to see him and osamu together. it didn’t help that suna was in your class too. the girls just jumped at the chance to see the attractive volleyball members all cleaned up. to say it was hectic was an understatement.</p><p>part way through, you and the volleyball players were assigned kitchen duty. </p><p>you were livid. you hated how busy, noise and stuffy the classroom had gotten, so you decided to take things into your own hands. the class reps had instituted a ten minute seating time limit to ensure max profit so the only issue was getting food out as fast as possible, you concluded. you tied up your hair and decided to streamline the whole cooking process. four people at prep, three at cooking and two plating.</p><p>when atsumu walked up to you with a sly smile asking for his job, you pushed a cutting board and knife into his hands, “get slicing, pretty boy.”</p><p>the way you looked up at him in your frilly maid outfit and a fire lit in your eye made his breath hitch. <i>pretty boy?</i> your mouth was set in a matching sly smile as you peered up at him. </p><p>“come on,“ you beckon, "those fangirls aren’t gonna feed themselves now.” </p><p>you turn, skirt swishing behind you. atsumu raises his brow, scoffing a little. you’d probably just be plating, pushing all the hard work to the boys. </p><p>to his surprise, you take up cooking next to osamu. and atsumu was soon left in awe at how quickly and confidently you dished out the orders. the little maid outfit didn’t help. suna was very happy on plating duty.</p><p>by the time your shift ended and atsumu had half a mind to talk to you, you already left on your break. he tried to talk to you since then, but it never really worked out. he caught you leaving school one day and asked if you had anything to do after class. he wanted to invite you to come watch practice.</p><p>“um, i’ve got work to go to and then i’ll be studying.”</p><p>“oh,” he had said intelligently. “well then, bye.”</p><p>you looked at him funny and said your goodbyes.</p><p>another time, he caught you, osamu and suna laughing at something as he made his way into your class to ask osamu for his english dictionary. he didn’t know what you were talking about, but you had called osamu “miya-kun” while osamu and suna used “-chan” to refer to you. he had tried it later that day and all he got was a “i don’t think we are that familiar with each other, miya-san.” </p><p>miya-san? atsumu felt like crying. come on!</p><p>you were pretty elusive. you had a part time job and high grades all across the board so most of your time was already allocated for. he tried to approach you at lunch, but you had two close friends that he didn’t really know and the one he did had a boyfriend that he didn’t know really well so he was stuck. he made a habit of waving at you so you acknowledged him and didn’t ignore him (thank god, he didn’t know how he’d survive that) but otherwise never had contact with him.</p><p>you weren’t the most attractive by society’s standards, he knew, but you weren’t ugly. you had a quiet sort of confidence. and atsumu didn’t really love you, it was more of a weird hyper-fixation after the fact that you had demanded something of him and used a pet name even though you had never formally met. even during the first half of your third year, you sat far away and never really had any reasons to interact with him. </p><p>maybe he was a masochist.</p><p>fast forward to now and you were right next to him. you sigh and atsumu tenses. osamu leans back in his chair. he’s being too fidgety, he thinks.</p><p>you groan internally, nothing good will come out of having the twins in class exhibition-type events, so you pray for anything but that (especially because the twins have only managed to get more attractive in their third year). atsumu hopes this gives him a chance to actually talk to you, for god’s sake. osamu prays for a bunch of food stalls again this year.</p><p>of course, the idea of a maid and butler cafe comes up. last year, your class made a killing and won the award for best exhibit due to the twins’ sheer popularity. </p><p>you slide back in your chair closing your eyes.</p><p>atsumu takes the chance to stare. your hair looked like spun gold with the sunlight hitting it. okay, that was way too romantic when he doesn’t even register on your radar yet. you sigh and silently rap your fingers on the desk, getting bored. your hands are small he notices. small wrist, small palms, small—. he looks up and you’re looking at him with an eyebrow raised.</p><p>atsumu takes out his phone and discreetly types “hi” before showing you. you read it and then wave back, confused. osamu texts atsumu.</p><p>&gt;&gt; (08:47) <span class="u">r u ok</span><br/>
&gt;&gt; (08:47) shut up!!!!!</p><p>osamu covers his mouth and laughs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the economics group report</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>atsumu thought that sitting next to you would mean more chances for interaction, but he was sorely mistaken. you never asked him for any help nor dropped anything on his side so that he could pick it up for you. the one time he asked if he could share your calculator since he left his at home, you reached into your desk and pulled out a spare. osamu nearly laughed aloud at your reaction.</p><p>your class didn’t come to a conclusion for the school’s cultural festival, opting instead to choose participants for the athletics festival. atsumu dumbly hoped that you would be paired with him for the three legged race as if his legs didn’t make up half of your entire body length already. osamu was to be his partner instead, which would either turn out fantastic or <i>not</i>.</p><p>surprisingly, you get put in the 100 metre dash. atsumu wanted to see you in the group dance, but beggars can’t be choosers. </p><p>you aren’t super confident in yourself, but all your more athletically proficient classmates had already been allocated and there were no duplicates allowed. and you didn’t raise your hand for the group dance because god knows how much time you’d have to spend learning that and you don’t have that kinda time <i>nor</i> energy, thank you very much. at least you could practice on your own for the sprint.</p><p>“miya-san? hello? are you alright?”</p><p>atsumu jolts in his seat. “y-yeah! what’s up?”</p><p>you blink. “i was asking if you and miya-kun would be free to work on our economics report this saturday night.”</p><p>osamu glances over at atsumu before replying, “what time? didja want to facetime or something?”</p><p>you nod. “i think it’d be a good idea if we tried to finish the majority of our parts by then and go over each other’s work that night to watch out for any discrepancies and mistakes.”</p><p>wait, by <i>saturday?</i> finish the majority of your parts, meaning the whole report? that’s in less than a week! it’s only tuesday! </p><p>“wait, by saturday?”</p><p>“yes, i’d like to get it done as soon as possible before we get swamped by our other classes with more homework.”</p><p>“but we have practice!” atsumu argues.</p><p>you look confused. “clubs usually finish by 6:30pm, no?”</p><p>“well, i like ta stay till 8pm!”</p><p>“i see, then i’ll try to do your part as well to make it up.” wait. that wasn’t what he wanted. he didn’t want to look like a free rider in front of you.</p><p>“well s’not as if i can’t do it!”</p><p>“but you just complained about the lack of time and i would rather you not do your work dead tired.”</p><p>aw, did you care about his wellbeing?</p><p>“doing your work half asleep just means the quality is only half up to par.”</p><p>no, not really. you were really only being efficient. osamu rolls his eyes at his brother. “i’ll do my best ta get my part done by then and keep an eye on ‘sumu too. i’ll text ya if we need anything.”</p><p>you smile. what the heck? why only at ‘samu? and how did ‘samu have your number? </p><p>“thanks. i’ll talk to you guys then. good luck at practice.” you part ways and atsumu is left standing there looking like a fool. </p><p>“nice going, scrub,” osamu laughs.</p><p>“shut up!! and how da hell do ya have her number?”</p><p>“got it last year.”</p><p>atsumu grumbles and pouts all the way to the gym.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. "miya-san”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>from the economics group report (which you had all gotten an a on, making atsumu swear to never question your work ethic again) to just how you went about school work in general, atsumu learns you’re like a little worker bee. you finish what you have to do and don’t take excuses. you do your part and keep to yourself; you remind him of kita, except you weren’t him.</p><p>you were slowly warming up to him, that much he could tell. he had gotten your number! you responded to his jokes and helped him with his class work, but he wasn’t satisfied. you still called him ‘miya-<i>san</i>.’</p><p>it’s a free block and you’re finishing up the math worksheet that was assigned last block. atsumu has never seen anyone finish homework like you do. osamu left to go get snacks from the vending machine and atsumu politely declined hanging out with anyone else in the class, saying he wanted to focus. </p><p>so it was just you and him at a ruler’s length.</p><p>you put your pencil down, having finished the last question and take a sharp exhale. he calls your name. “done already?”</p><p>you turn towards him and laugh, hair sparkling in the sun. “can’t say the same, miya-san?”</p><p>he pouts. “not everyone is as bright and efficient you are.”</p><p>you raise a brow. “can i not say the same about you on the court?”</p><p>he blushes, ears reddening. “well that’s—!” he clears his throat, wanting to divert your attention. </p><p>“anyway, why do ya keep calling me ‘miya-san’? it’s too stuffy!” and it’s not fair that osamu gets the more familiar suffix, he thinks.</p><p>“how else would i address you? you and your brother are in the same class and all.”</p><p>atsumu leans back against the wall, smiling slyly as he composes himself. he had the upper hand now. “jus’ call us by our first names.”</p><p>you blink. “are you both okay with that?” </p><p>he waves it off. “everybody calls us that anyways.” </p><p>you smile, laughing softly, “okay then, atsumu-kun. would you like me to help with your worksheet?”</p><p>osamu had been back in his seat for a while now, impressed that atsumu finally moved your relationship in a positive direction. he took a quick snapshot of how atsumu had his mouth open as his ears burned red. </p><p>you turn around to him. “would that be okay with you too?”</p><p>atsumu swerves his head over. when did he get back?!</p><p>osamu nods. “yeah, that’s fine.” </p><p>you nod and turn back around in your seat, standing up to move your desk next to atsumu so you could help him as atsumu gawks at you getting closer.</p><p>&gt;&gt; (01:43) <span class="u">nice going casanova</span><br/>&gt;&gt; (01:43) im gonna eat all the cream puffs in the fridge<br/>&gt;&gt; (01:44) <span class="u">ill tell her about how u cried when u watched frozen</span><br/>&gt;&gt; (01:47) i will not eat the puffs</p><p>“atsumu-kun? you good?”</p><p>atsumu puts his phone down, nodding. he doesn’t trust himself to talk right now. you start off with the first question, guiding him through it. you have cute ears, he notices and fights the urge to grab your small hand next to his on the desk. you faintly smell like strawberries.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. across the courtyard, across the lake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>atsumu draws out your name in a whine, “why’s it gotta be so hot?”</p><p>“what? am i supposed to go fight the sun for you?”</p><p>the two of you had been paired up for your biology class and had to find a number of plants. you had to identify them and write a paragraph for each, creating your own little encyclopedias. </p><p>he hates this.</p><p>but he supposes he doesn’t hate the way you’re doing this with him. you look cute in the summer uniform, hair tousled by the wind. you’re taking shade underneath one of the trees, sitting next to him. the two of you had finished most of the project already, but atsumu crumbled a couple of plants in his bag before you could dry them, so instead of sitting in class while everyone else was scrambling outside to find plants, you had to join them. atsumu doesn’t mind. he hopes you don’t either.</p><p>“well, what plants do ya want?”</p><p>you hum. “we have most of the plants at school already so…”</p><p>“so?”</p><p>you bend down to pick out a small daisy and turn around to face him, before tucking it behind his ear. you laugh, “you look cute, mr. i-crushed-two-of-our-flowers.”</p><p>he supposes he deserves it, but it was less of a punishment and more of a gift. the way you gently tucked the daisy behind his ear, laughed and then teased him all at once made his head spin and he looks away, hiding his flush. atsumu thought this weird infatuation would have ended ages ago. at first, it was just a little competition for himself, to see the ever serious you warm up to him. maybe he’d charm you into helping (doing) his homework.</p><p>but this pretty boy wanted to see that fire in your eye again (and maybe hear that nickname too). he takes off the daisy, putting it behind your ear.</p><p>he smirks. “looks cuter on ya.”</p><p>you reach up to touch it, laughing again. “i thought the yellow of the centre looked like your hair.” </p><p>atsumu flushes. you thought of him? when you looked at that little itty, bitty daisy? him? six foot tall, absolute asshole <i>him</i>?</p><p>you laugh harder, “come on, let’s finish this dumb thing.”</p><p>you spend the rest of the period outside. when you find a flower across the school courtyard to replace one of the ones he crushed and stick your hand up in the air to wave it at him, you remind him of the otter he saw at the aquarium when he was nine, standing up to paw at the zookeeper for treats. </p><p>maybe if the two of you were otters, you would hold onto each other to make sure the other didn’t drift away.</p><p>he shakes his head and runs up to you, finding a flower of his own.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. of course he’s gonna complain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“stop fidgeting!”</p><p>“i can’t take this anymore!”</p><p>“could ya shut! the hell! up!”</p><p>suna watches as you try to break the fight between atsumu and osamu after atsumu elbowed his brother in the head.</p><p>it’s a saturday in early september. you and the twins were over at suna’s place to study. there was a string of tests coming up in two weeks for some godforsaken reason so you had offered to help them study. <i>study</i>, suna thinks, not be a babysitter to kids nearly a foot taller than you.</p><p>you sit in between the two twins as they glare at each other. you sigh and grab your backpack, pulling out a large tupperware container of homemade sugar cookies.</p><p>“if i give you guys some cookies, will you make up and get back to work?”</p><p>you have never seen them whip their heads around that fast. suna silently walks back into the kitchen to grab some milk. you set the container in the middle of the table and watch as they all take one (osamu grabs three). you wait attentively for feedback.</p><p>osamu hums, cheeks stuffed, “they’re really good. i like how soft ‘n chewy they are; you should make more next time.”</p><p>suna nods. “yeah, thanks. they’re not crumbly either.” </p><p>“hmm, i dunno,” atsumu starts. “think you shoulda made oatmeal ones inst-.”</p><p>“then don’t eat them.” you stare at him blankly.</p><p>atsumu sweats. “think ya made the right choice in making sugar cookies, ma’am.”</p><p>suna coughs, “asshole.”</p><p>osamu coughs, “moron.”</p><p>you sigh, “<i>guys</i>.”</p><p>atsumu apologizes later when the two of you walk to go buy dinner. </p><p>“you’re an asshole sometimes, y’know.” he looks away, biting his tongue. “if you didn’t like them, you didn’t have to eat them.”</p><p>he turns back to look at you. “no, s'not that! i jus’—!”</p><p>you stop walking and cross your arms. “more excuses?”</p><p>he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. he really regrets opening his big mouth. he doesn’t like the way you were looking at him. he looks away again and rubs the back of his neck. “well i jus’ wanted ta try the oatmeal ones you made the last time, but ‘samu went and ate ‘em all ‘fore i got a chance.”<br/>you walk up to him, flicking his forehead hard. </p><p>“ow!” he rubs his hand over the spot. “what was that for?!”</p><p>you stroll past him, walking ahead. “you sure have a weird way of saying things, atsumu-kun. but i guess i wouldn’t mind, as long as you paid for the ingredients.”</p><p>atsumu brightens up again and darts up to you. “maybe i can help ya make it? uh, that is if ya don’t mind.” he scratches the side of his face. his ears are a little red.</p><p>“sure,” you smile. </p><p>atsumu returns it. a first date of some sorts? hell yeah.</p><p>when you get back, osamu looks at suna. suna looks at osamu. you look at them. atsumu smiles like the cat who got the cream (or a guy who got a somewhat date).</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. the sky of za warudo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it’s the first day of the cultural festival. your class never came to a conclusion about what event to hold so all the class reps got together and made the decision for everyone: all the third years would to come together and turn the entire floor into a giant cosplay cafe. </p><p>you were a little lazy, so you dressed up as your favourite animal crossing character. you thought you looked cute, ears and all. brushing a finger through your lashes, you put the finishing touches on your eye makeup just as the twins saunter in.</p><p>kanagaoka-san, the female class representative had the idea of making them dress up as a jojo character and his stand. you thought they’d go for josuke since he was a high school student, but osamu had decided to go as risotto nero (someone else had already called dibs on jotaro) and atsumu claimed dio brando. a bunch of girls scrounged for the opportunity to make their costumes. was it to get a chance to get their measurements? probably. you’d also like to know their shoulder to waist ratio, but anyone with at least four brain cells knew to stay away from that mess.</p><p>osamu’s risotto outfit had to be altered because the character was topless under the weird straps (bondage gear?) he had on, so they gave him a white t-shirt. with the coloured contacts in, he looked pretty much the part. his hair was already a similar shade of grey.</p><p>atsumu as dio was hilarious; from the green lipstick to the small, yellow cropped jacket and weird pointy shoes, you were nearly in hysterics when you saw him.</p><p>“what’s so funny?” he pitched his voice to give it that otherworldly tone dio had. </p><p>you lost it, clutching at your midsection.</p><p>atsumu thinks you look cute, even if you are laughing at him. he likes your little animal ears and to be frank, he has no idea who you’re supposed to be, but it suits you very well. you look like a little stuffed animal of sorts. he reminds himself to take a group photo later, just so that he can save a slice of today.</p><p>osamu tries to muffle his own laughter, “you look like you're livin’ in 2003, ‘tsumu.”</p><p>“shut up, yer the one with bondage gear on.”</p><p>the twins claw at each other and you grab hold of their arms before they do any real damage. wiping at your eyes, you say, “maybe i should have gone as one of your stands then!”</p><p>“could have just dressed in all grey.”</p><p>“what makes ya think she’d be your stand?!”</p><p>“oh and have her follow ya ‘round as ya go t-posin’ yellin’ ‘za warudo’ like some weirdo?”</p><p>you giggle, “at least he’s committed to the character.”</p><p>atsumu huffs in osamu’s direction, “see? i’m committed!”</p><p>“yeah, committed to being a court jester.”</p><p>they pounce at each other again. sometimes you think they act on spinal reflex alone. </p><p>the three of you enjoy the school festival, albeit with your respective friends. atsumu catches you later, when the sun has set and the sky is a vast canvas of reds and oranges.</p><p>“where’d ya head off to today? couldn’t find ya anywhere y’know.” </p><p>you’re back in the classroom, sitting on  desks facing each other. he hopes he can hang out with you tomorrow for the festival’s second and last day.</p><p>“hanging out with friends.”</p><p>atsumu scans over your face. you’re staring out the window, a wistful look on your face.</p><p>“from the advanced class?” he asks softly. </p><p>you nod, looking right at him, smiling, “you wanna know why i left don’t you?”</p><p>he nods. </p><p>“the workload got to be too much.” </p><p>atsumu raises a brow, for someone like you? </p><p>you laugh quietly before staring down at your shoes, “my mom got diagnosed with arthritis, even though she’s still in her forties.” you look back out the window, eyes glassy. atsumu keeps quiet.</p><p>“my dad worked really hard to pay off our house, often 60, sometimes 80 hours a week, so i’m sure he isn’t all fine and dandy either.” you wipe at your eyes. “so i transferred out to work to save money for university and to pay some bills. they weren’t happy with it, but it’s not like my success hinges entirely on it either,” you laugh, self-deprecatingly this time. “it’s just a little hard sometimes when grades have been the only thing defining you for so long.”</p><p>atsumu doesn’t know what to say. he watches as you try to hold more than he thinks you should on your smaller frame. </p><p>you look right as him, smiling weakly. “sorry.” you look back down again. </p><p>“no, s’okay,” he mutters softly.</p><p>his chest feels warm and a little heavy with what you’ve told him as he looks at the way your hands grip the edge of the desk. he stands up and moves towards you. in surprise, you curl in on yourself, arm coming up to rub at your eyes. </p><p>taking off his jacket, he drapes it over your shoulders before putting a hand on your back and gently pushing your head into his chest. </p><p>atsumu looks out the window, letting you cry into his chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. intoxicating platonic(?) intimacy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>atsumu leans against your side. he’s touchy. you don’t mind. kinda like that he’s so comfortable around you.</p><p>he’s walking back home from a dentist appointment when he see you at a nearby park. you’re taking your siblings out. he sits with you on the wooden beams framing the playground, watching over them. it’s cold. he thinks you look cute in your puffy parka.</p><p>he murmurs your name, “never thought i’d see you doing this.”</p><p>“doing what?”</p><p>“chilling.”</p><p>you huff a laugh, “i’m not a machine.”</p><p>“kinda,” he pauses. “why do ya do it anyways? what makes you keep going?”</p><p>you’re quiet and atsumu panics a little, wondering he’s overstepped his boundaries, remembering the day in the classroom. </p><p>you turn and look him in the eye, “hard work will never betray you, atsumu-kun.”</p><p>atsumu bites his cheek, seeing that spark in your eyes. hard work, huh? he knows what that is. years of pushing and pushing himself for the sport he lives and breathes to get to where he is now and where he wants to be. you just do the same elsewhere. </p><p>he smiles. “little worker bee, aren’t cha?”</p><p>you laugh, “aren’t we accomplices then? osamu-kun told me about how your senpais have gotten angry with you for trying to overwork yourself.”</p><p>he pouts and crosses his arms. “they’re just jealous of my success!” he has no counter argument.</p><p>“really now? jealously—are you sure about that? i thought we were friends.”</p><p>friends, huh. maybe one day you’ll be more than that. more than all your study dates (most with osamu in tow because he can’t find many excuses to be alone with you). more than the group projects, the watching you get third in the 100 metre dash, the time you shared his water bottle, the way you came and cheered for them (him, he insists) in the spring high preliminaries.</p><p>but maybe he was fine with that. fine seeing you plow your way through and a little excited at what you’d do next. unknownst to him, you mirror his feelings: excited to see him grow, excited to see him grasp the world.</p><p>he grumbles. you giggle and turn back towards your siblings. he leans on you again. you rub your hands together before you reach into your jacket pocket to take out your lip balm. he watches you put it on, licking his own dry lips. </p><p>you smirk, offering it to him. “here.”</p><p>he blushes a little, burying himself into his parka’s collar. you’re very smooth. he knows that had you been a celebrity, you’d be the number one girl crush.</p><p>atsumu takes it gingerly, mumbling a thanks. it’s strawberry flavoured. the pink, girly label right in his face. he’s kinda embarrassed to put it on, but does it anyway, handing it back to you quickly. </p><p>another indirect kiss for those late nights.</p><p> he stares down at his shoes and is about to thank you when your younger sister runs up to you.</p><p>“nee-chan, how much time do we have left?”</p><p>you pull out your phone. “we should get home before mom does so she doesn’t worry. another fifteen minutes good?” </p><p>she nods, pom pom bouncing on her beanie. atsumu thinks she’s cute, seeing a little bit of you in her. she looks at him then looks away just as quick, running back to play.</p><p>“she’s cute.”</p><p>you smile. “yeah, she’s really smart too. she finished all her homework in one sitting so that she could come out to play.”</p><p>atsumu chuckles softly, glancing over at you. “hard worker, huh?”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. hyper-fixating on things he could have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>winter break went by in the blink of an eye. you and atsumu had texted for the most part, but spent christmas with your respective families. your instagram account’s empty, used to follow friends and the celebrity here and there so he couldn’t really keep tabs on you. he sent you pictures here and there of his own celebrations with friends, teammates and tons of snapshots of food, not to mention selfies. you had sent a total of four pictures. two of your christmas dinner, one of the new pencil case you got, and the last of you and the sister he saw at the park.</p><p>the two of you are sitting together. she’s in a my hero academia sweater. adorable, atsumu thinks. you looked almost ethereal with a soft turtleneck on, hair down, glasses on. he saved all four of your pictures and went back to the shared portrait one the most, thumb rubbing over his screen at your soft smile.</p><p>school’s busy now. harder. the two of you don’t hang out as often as you did prior to winter break, too busy studying for entrance exams. he learns that the two of you would be parting ways after graduation. you opt to stay in the prefecture to take care of your siblings and parents. atsumu’s leaving the prefecture to chase his dreams, receiving numerous offers from schools across the country. he decided to go to tokyo, but doesn’t really know how to feel about it yet.</p><p>&gt;&gt; (04:26) <span class="u">u still good with us studying tomorrow?</span><br/>&gt;&gt; (04:26) ya<br/>&gt;&gt; (04:29) <span class="u">oh yeah! remember my little sister? she asked about you a while back and when i told her your name. she called you tsumtsum! how cute lolol</span></p><p>atsumu drops his phone on his bed as he lays on his back and pushes the base of his palms into his eyes. your whole entire family must be cute bees, tsumtsum-ing around. </p><p>he laughs at himself, chest tight at imagining you calling him that.</p><p>it’s the 9th of january. the entrance exams are in five days. the two of you are at the local library as you help him study english. your study sessions within the past half a year have seen atsumu achieve some of the best grades he’s ever had. he tried thanking you once and you only returned it, giving him a cheeky smile. </p><p>he wanted to kiss you so bad then.</p><p>his phone vibrates, signaling the start of another break. the two of you had been studying for two and a half hours already. groaning, he puts his arms up to stretch his neck and back.</p><p>you plant your cheek on the desk, glasses going lopsided. he stifles a laugh. </p><p>“oh!” you sit up, reaching for your bag.</p><p> he leans back in his chair, arms over his head as he watches you. </p><p>you turn back around, holding out a cute bag of muffins. atsumu brings his arms down and you place them in front of him on his notebook. </p><p>“for christmas, i guess?,” you start. your cheeks are a little pink. atsumu pinks too as he gently cradles the treats. </p><p>he frowns a little, “i left yours at my place.”</p><p>“we can drop by later if you want.”</p><p>he nods. “is it chocolate chip?”</p><p>“no, blueberry.”</p><p>he hums his thanks. “can i eat one now?” </p><p>you look around, before bringing a finger up to your lips and whispering, “as long as you don’t get caught.”</p><p>atsumu nods and gingerly picks a muffin up before taking a bite. the berries are a little sour, but they contrast nicely with the soft sweetness of the muffin. he gives you two thumbs up, chest thumping at the way your eyes crinkle when you smile at him. he finishes the muffin top before putting the rest back in the bag and licking the crumbs on his lips.</p><p>“good?”</p><p>he nods, swallowing, “maybe we can make oatmeal ones together next time.”</p><p>you laugh quietly, “yeah, of course. you should be careful to keep them away from osamu-kun.”</p><p>he carefully puts the bag into his backpack. “i’ll eat ‘em before we even get home!”</p><p>“is that so, tsumtsum?”</p><p>atsumu’s heart pitters painfully. he wants to hold your hand, wants to kiss the hands that made the muffins, wants so much <i>more</i>. you’re so close. you’re in another cute turtleneck again with your hair up, glasses on and he wants to kiss the soft apples of your cheek and then make his way down to your plump lips painted a dusty rose that matches your turtleneck.</p><p>but like how he bags up the muffins, he swallows his feelings. he didn’t want to be a burden, not on you who has so much on your shoulders already, not on him who wants the world. </p><p>for the past six months though, you were his world. </p><p>right now too.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. blue shell to the head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>&gt;&gt; (12:47) <span class="u">tsumtsum!!!</span><br/>&gt;&gt; (12:47) <span class="u">can i come over today</span></p><p>&gt;&gt; (12:48) we’re over at suna’s<br/>&gt;&gt; (12:50) he said u can come over too<br/>&gt;&gt; (12:51) ill send u the location</p><p>&gt;&gt; (12:51) <span class="u">okok!!!!!</span></p><p>it’s a lovely saturday. it’s also valentine’s day. so like any other girl who’s got her eye on someone, you make something for them. like last time, you put your sweets in a giant plastic container. it’s strawberry patterned and the sweets are airy enough that you can carry it no problem. you didn’t want another repeat of the sugar cookies incident with atsumu complaining about not getting enough to eat because of his brother so you made sure to make extra.</p><p>atsumu’s hands start to sweat as he holds the controller, for reasons other than the fact that suna was gaining on him in mario kart and that he also has a blue shell he’d yet to use. you’re coming over!! it’s valentine’s day. and yeah, so what if he received fourteen kilograms of that chocolate stuff on friday and was practically confessed to every week, you’re coming over! you!!</p><p>atsumu gets hit with the blue shell. he hits himself in the head with the controller. osamu snorts.</p><p>the doorbell rings and atsumu scrambles to get up.</p><p>“i’ll get it!”</p><p>“thought this was my house,” suna smirks. osamu snickers.</p><p>atsumu opens the door. it’s you!!! you look so cute!!!!!</p><p>you smile. “hey tsumtsum! happy valentine’s day!”</p><p>atsumu’s ears are ringing. his heartbeat races a hundred miles a minute. he weakly returns a “yeah.” you make your way into the living room and greet the other two.</p><p>“i made sweets again!!”</p><p>osamu leans over. suna hides his laugh behind his hand seeing osamu perk up. playing cool, atsumu takes a seat next to you on the floor, hyper aware of the space between you two.</p><p>paying him no mind and unaware of his internal dilemma, you unpack and open the plastic container.</p><p>“cream puffs?” atsumu remarks.</p><p>“kinda.” you set the container on the table. “they’re called honeycomb toffee choux pastries. it’s almost the same as a cream puff but the outside is crispy and crunchy.”</p><p>“ya made ‘em?” atsumu asks dumbly.</p><p>“of course!”</p><p>osamu eyes go sparkly. he hovers a hand over one of the pastries and looks at you.</p><p>you laugh and nod. “go ahead!”</p><p>atsumu and suna take one each. as they bite into the choux, a resounding crunch echoes through the living room.</p><p>“holy shit,” atsumu swears.</p><p>“mmmmmm. there’s cream inside.” osamu has his eyes closed, licking his lips.</p><p>suna kitten licks at the cream. “it’s delicious.”</p><p>you beam. thank goodness. “happy valentine’s day, guys!”</p><p>the three all return the sentiment and the box is nearly empty by the time all of you have your fill.</p><p>osamu looks over at you, licking his fingers. “ya gotta open your own bakery.”</p><p>“yeah? maybe we can open our establishments right next to each other.”</p><p>suna puts his chin in his hand. “the two of you would put on a hundred kilos in a matter of weeks just from feeding each other.”</p><p>you look him in the eye. “equivalent exchange.”</p><p>osamu laughs. atsumu narrows his eyes. that wasn’t fair. why did you and osamu get to stay together when he had to get by without you or your sweets?</p><p>suna says your name, “do you find osamu attractive?” since you like atsumu and all, he adds on mentally.</p><p>you pink at the question. atsumu gapes. osamu side eyes suna.</p><p>“i mean, physically yes. he is very attractive.”</p><p>suna hums. atsumu pouts. osamu shrugs and says, “thanks.”</p><p>“you’re welcome. but what’s with the question all of a sudden, suna?”</p><p>he smiles slyly, “no particular reason.” no particular reason other than to get under atsumu’s skin because of course atsumu’s going to be jealous that you called his brother physically attractive and not him specifically even though they were identical.</p><p>what meaning does it have if you didn’t say it to his face anyways, atsumu contends.</p><p>there’s no fourth controller because osamu had broken it in frustration the last time they were over, so osamu gives you his. he’s more than happy to finish the rest of the choux pastries.</p><p>you’re sitting next to atsumu, leaning against the couch. if he takes a deep enough breath, atsumu can smell the scent of your shampoo. that’s kinda ...weird, he thinks. whatever.</p><p>he looks over at your hands holding the controller, over to suna’s and then back to his.</p><p>your hands are so small. what the heck. how did you ever grab anything.</p><p>“what’s wrong, tsumtsum?”</p><p>osamu smirks, “he’s looking at your hands.”</p><p>atsumu sends a glare over to his brother as his cheeks pink. you open up one of your hands, looking at it.</p><p>“well, i am a midget compared to you three.”</p><p>suna hums. he holds his hand up. “wanna compare?” he looks over at atsumu, smirking. atsumu’s gaze darkens.</p><p>you gingerly out your palm up against his. the tips of your fingers only barely make it to his second knuckle.</p><p>you gawk, “what the. how?!”</p><p>osamu leans over to see. “you’re tiny, huh.”</p><p>atsumu eggs his way in. “let me see!”</p><p>he holds up his hand and you warily put yours against his. about the same results as you had with suna. his hands dwarf yours. the way you look up at him from your lower vantage point in shock and confusion makes him wanna kiss you and crush you against his chest all at the same time.</p><p>suna and osamu share a look. osamu points to his ears and the darker haired boy looks over. atsumu’s ears look like they’d melt off with how red they were.</p><p>you pull your hand back and atsumu misses its warmth already.</p><p>“you guys are just ridiculously large,” you huff.</p><p>“garden gnome,” osamu says.</p><p>“didn’t know smurfs existed in real life,” suna mutters.</p><p>“i am very fine with being a gremlin, thank you very much!” you add.</p><p>atsumu laughs.</p><p>“wait...” you grab atsumu’s hand again. you’re touching him, you’re touching him, you’re touching him, you’re touch—.</p><p>you close your hand around his pointer finger. atsumu thinks he’s going to pass out. he covers his face with his other hand. his finger extends past the width of your hand.</p><p>osamu’s brows raise.</p><p>suna laughs a little, “wait, do it to his other hand too.”</p><p>you’re confused, but you like the feeling of holding onto atsumu and seeing him embarrassed so you grab onto his other hand. atsumu’s face is bright red now and entirely unobstructed from view. suna immediately takes out his phone and starts taking pictures.</p><p>“wait!” you let go and turn around before grabbing onto his fingers again as you sit with your back turned to atsumu. “jet pack!”</p><p>osamu almost chokes on his water. suna laughs at atsumu maliciously as the blonde buries his face into your neck. osamu thinks he sees steam rising.</p><p>&gt;&gt; (02:07) pls<br/>&gt;&gt; (02:07) send me the pictures</p><p>&gt;&gt; (02:07) <span class="u">lmfao<span class="u"><br/></span></span>&gt;&gt; (02:08) <span class="u"><span class="u"><span class="u">nah 🤑</span></span></span></p><p>&gt;&gt; (02:09) what more do ya want from me</p><p>the four of you play mario kart late into the afternoon. osamu knocks out on the couch after your early dinner and you pass out leaning on atsumu’s shoulder.</p><p>atsumu buries his nose into your hair, watching you sleep. against his better judgement, he gently grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together. he wants to pull you into his chest while you sit in his lap. he’s only half glad he didn’t do it earlier when you called him a jetpack. would he have been able to let go?</p><p>he melts at how soft your hand is, how small. atsumu wishes you could stay like this forever. he wishes he had the guts to ask you if you love him back, if these emotions burn you like they do him. were the chouxs made with the intent of love? did you like him more than osamu? where do you see this relationship going? what did he have to do to make you love him like he loved you?</p><p>“you’re not doing yourself any favours, y’know,” suna peers over the back of the couch at him.</p><p>atsumu knows. he knows.</p><p>he just can’t help wanting what he can’t have.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. the ginkgo tree on the other side of the school</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the cherry blossoms are scattering beautifully, enveloping the school in a wash of delicate pink. the sky is clear and the air crisp. perfect for graduation.</p><p>you all got your diplomas and everyone’s mingling in one large crowd now. </p><p>atsumu stands in a large group consisting of his family, classmates, fangirls and fellow volleyball team members. you’re a little ways away in a smaller huddle.</p><p>the two of you made it into one of your top university choices and had all celebrated together with a bunch of close friends earlier that week. atsumu bought you a delicate silver bracelet as thanks for carrying his ass through the last half of the school year. he stuttered and told you he was doing it on behalf of him and his brother. nonetheless, you beamed at him, exclaiming, “i’ll treasure it! thank you, atsumu-kun.” he hasn’t forgotten the look on your face.</p><p>&gt;&gt; (01:35) hey could we talk for a bit?<br/>&gt;&gt; (01:36) <span class="u">'course</span><br/>&gt;&gt; (01:36) meet you behind that ginkgo tree?<br/>&gt;&gt; (01:36) <span class="u">👍</span></p><p>atsumu gets there first. hands in pockets as he waits for you. he can feel everything threatening to spill over.</p><p>“hey! what did you want to talk about, tsumtsum?”</p><p>he loves how the nickname sounds coming from you, like you were his cute little worker bee buzzing for his attention. atsumu admires you for a while. like the thousand times before, he traces over your features, ones that he’s come to love.</p><p>“just wanna ta thank you personally for everythin’.”</p><p> he doesn’t think words will ever express what you’ve done for him, to him.</p><p>you smile, “didn’t you already do that with the bracelet?” you bring your wrist up. he loves that it’s a part of you. “or is this also on behalf of osamu-kun now?”</p><p>he shakes his head, cheeks reddening. “no, jus’ me.”</p><p>“you’re welcome,” you laugh. </p><p>it’s silent. words left unsaid rustling in the flowers of the cherry blossom tree.</p><p>“i’m really proud of you, tsumtsum.” his stomach knots. “you worked so hard. i can’t really put into words how much you inspire me. take care in tokyo!” you laugh. “don’t forget about me when you’re all famous in a dozen different magazines!”</p><p>his chest feels tight. wasn’t it the other way around? wasn’t it you who inspired him? who’d forget about him once you found someone to match that endearing worker bee mindset of yours?</p><p>wasn’t it you who he so desperately wanted something more with?</p><p>your laugh trails off seeing the soft look in his eyes. atsumu loves you, you know, but you’re not confident enough to act on the reciprocation. you’d be thousands of kilometres away from each other. you wouldn’t dare touch his flames, for fear of suffocating them, for burning, for never knowing how to function without his warmth.</p><p>“can i have a hug, tsumtsum?”</p><p>he nods, bringing you into his arms. you bury your face in his shoulder and he cups the back of your head, softly kissing your hairline. you can’t help but cry at the tenderness of it all. he tightens his hold on you, half thinking the earth would swallow the two of you up as he burrows his face in your neck. maybe if he closes his eyes hard enough, you’ll become those two little otters he thought about underneath that ginkgo tree, grasping onto each other as you drift through the vast lake, braving whatever storm came together.</p><p>you pull back, cupping his face and placing your forehead against his. you kiss the edge of his mouth. atsumu swallows the lump in his throat. your neck is wet.</p><p>“see you around, pretty boy.”</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. it's a little different than what we're used to</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>you’re standing in a bookstore, browsing the latest manga and magazine bromides. at 23, you moved to tokyo. the office you were in had expanded and as one of the younger employees that was unmarried and without kids, you were chosen for the transfer. it was hard leaving your family behind, but you made sure to visit when you could. the move came with a hefty raise too.</p><p>you and atsumu texted on and off, though nowhere near as frequently when he first departed. you’d send a message for a holiday and the two of you would start up the conversation for a week or so and then it’d go silent again. when he went back home the first couple of times, you’d meet up, but as you got older and were left with more responsibilities, your schedules just never matched up. </p><p>all that was left was the obligatory ‘happy new year’ texts.</p><p>your eyes land on a volleyball bromide. on the cover is him with a couple of other athletes in the league. you tuck it under your arm. </p><p>you made an effort to watch his games from time to time when you moved here, though you don’t think he’s ever noticed you in the stands. the ones you couldn’t formally attend, you streamed online. </p><p>shifting the basket to your other hand, you make your way to the cashier and pay for everything before heading out.</p><p>your floral blouse ruffles in the light summer breeze. checking the time, you tuck your hair behind your ear as you catch a bus to the local zoo. you promised to meet some of your new coworkers there at 1:30pm.</p><p>you pick up lunch along the way before paying for your ticket. you see them all under the shade of a large maple tree and they wave you over. asako-san, your senpai, suggests you all go check out the new penguin exhibit they opened up. </p><p>the penguins are adorable. short, a little plump and the chicks look so precious in between their parents’ legs. in your reverie, you lose sight of your friends. you try to look around for one of the guys in your group, seeing as he was nearly a foot taller than you.</p><p>you spot him: black spiky hair, dark t-shirt. you squish your way through the crowd as politely as you can before his long legs take him to neverland.</p><p>“moriyama-san!” you run into his back. “o-oh, sorry i lost my footing there.”</p><p>the gentleman turns around. it is not moriyama-san, but he has a handsome, smiling face similar to his you could say. stepping back, you bow, stammering out apologies. </p><p>he laughs, brushing it off, “it’s alright. did you want to see the exhibit too?” </p><p>you guess he didn’t hear you you nod. might as well take a look around, you could always text them later.</p><p>he steps aside. the exhibit’s a large pool area, but devoid of any animals. mr. not-moriyama-san explains, “oh, they’ll be out in the next minute or so.”</p><p>right on cue, three zookeepers walk out with four little otters with them. you swoon. there are another two that follow behind. most of them dive straight into the pool and swim around before floating on their backs. you bring out your phone to take a million pictures, but your name rings out next to you.</p><p>you turn to the left. </p><p>it’s atsumu. </p><p>he’s baffled, “w-what are you doing here?”</p><p>he’s gotten taller, broader, more attractive while you’re still gremlin-sized and gremlin-looking. life really did that to certain people, huh.</p><p>atsumu takes you in. you got a different glow to you now. time did you well. your hair still shines like gold.</p><p>he doesn’t know what to say. doesn’t know what to do in the face of someone who’s grown from a worker bee into the queen herself. maybe he’d finally admit that he was the worker bee all along, heeding your every little command. you look beautiful.</p><p>you smile at him, “i moved last year. branch transfer.”</p><p>“eh, you know her, atsumu?”</p><p>now you figure out the gentleman that helped you was none other than shugo meian, the black jackals’ captain. ah, so that’s why he looks familiar. you meet his other teammates too. the moody sakusa who’s doing his best to dissociate himself from the blindingly energetic combo of bokuto and hinata. you meet sweet faced adriah and baby faced shion, both politely introducing themselves.</p><p>“hey look!!!!”</p><p>“be quiet, bokuto.”</p><p>“but omi-san, the otters are holding hands!” hinata points to the two otters, paws grasping onto each other. </p><p>the rest of the crowd pushes up to see and you almost fall over with the sudden force. atsumu picks you up, holding you to his chest as your arms settle on his shoulders to steady yourself.</p><p>you look up at him. he looks down at you. you press a chaste kiss to the side of the mouth you didn’t kiss back on the day of your graduation.</p><p>atsumu gently squeezes you in close, hands holding onto yours. he kisses your hairline again. “i missed you,” he whispers. “you look beautiful.”</p><p>you blush and smile, “and you’ve only gotten prettier.”</p><p>later that afternoon, the two of you leave the zoo paw in paw, hand in hand. he buys you an otter stuffie and you return his gesture with a jar of organic honey made by local beekeepers with a promise of another baking date.</p><p>you don’t know how the other’s changed, if you’re even compatible now with different goals, opinions, values. atsumu knows it’s going to be hard work with your schedules and everything else those five years apart gave you to make it work. </p><p>this time, he swears to be the one guiding you through the problems.</p>
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